Shopping!

And Here are some of the clothes we have gotten so far (can you tell I'm excited??)

Baby Pic (5 months)

The ultrasound tech tried to get a 3D picture of her face, but she insisted on keeping her hands in front of it. I love seeing our little girl- I just can't wait to hold her...

Goodness

As I said in my last post- things were tough and I desperately needed to learn that perfection should not by my goal.

For the first time in a long while, I can say that with a lot of effort and work, I can finally see myself truly growing in this area. At work, I've been working on not taking people's comments, glares, rudeness, etc. personally, and leaving my work at work instead of bringing it home with me every night. I had a horrible habit of bringing my work stresses home and taking them out on Ryan. The poor guy never knew what to do and this was not a fair position to put him or I in. I just had to come to the conclusion that not everyone is going to like me and that so long as I am doing my work and doing it well, I should really not be concerned with whether or not I am liked (I truly don't get paid enough try to be liked by everyone). The stress that has been lifted from my shoulders is incredible. And Ryan isn't terrified to ask how my day was :-)!

I don't think I ever truly thought I could grow in the area of accepting myself as I am, but I'm so glad I have. Obviously, I have a long way to go, but just accepting that not everyone has to like me has given me more freedom to be myself- to learn and grow the real me- instead of the "me" I thought people wanted to see.

This is no profound or deep post- it is more a post to say for the first time in a very long time I think my life is begining to take shape-to heal- and to be truly happy.

And of course, I can't end my post without a Lillyanne update. I have my next appt/ultrasound on Monday- I so cannot wait to see lil Lilly again! I was showing some of the girls at work the video from my last ultrasound today- I definately had some mother's pride going on! I just cannot wait to hold her in my arms.

Again...I'm sorry for the limited posts. Life has just been busy. I don't have much time to post- We have to be at my mom and dads in half an hour for dinner- so this is just a quick update.

Anyway- We found out a few weeks ago that we are having a....GIRL! I'm thrilled, Ryan is still trying to get used to the idea as he was 100% sure he was having a boy (His immediate response was, "I guess we'll have to try again"), but I think by the time she is here he'll be the happiest father around!

We have decided to name her Lillyanne- we don't have a middle name yet, so if you have any ideas, let me know :-)

She is healthy and growing well. There are a couple things we are waiting results on, but I know God is taking good care of my little one. I can finally feel her kick- which truly is a weird feeling but it also lets me know that she is still okay.

Anyway- I just wanted to let you know that everything is going well.