Change...

I hate it.

I met my replacement at work yesterday. As thrilled as I am that my team will have a leader to replace me it was very difficult to start handing over my responsibilities.

And then tonight I get a call from one of my staff and as we were talking she mentioned that the new team leader said at many points that the team deffinately wasn't being run the way she would do it and that she doesn't agree with the way things are done.

I know that she will not run the team the same as I have- and that it okay- we are different people- different ages- different experience, but PLEASE don't tell my staff that I'm not doing things "right"- don't undermine me. I have never had a problem with the ways things are run on the team- perhaps its not perfect and I'll be the first to admit that but I have grown so much in the last 3 years and progressively made so many changes. You have to know how far a team has come before you can judge its present state. I know I'm sounding defensive and perhaps I shouldn't care so much- but its three years of my life, my time, my energy, my time away from my family and finace/husband- so I do care. And it hurts to have it criticized and it hurts to know that she is talking poorly of the team to my staff behind my back. And its not like its an office job- it's peoples lives- 3 women that I have grown to love dearly and at times feel as close to me as my own family.

I'm tired. There is just so much going on and for the last few weeks I feel like all I'm doing is sleeping and working. I have hardly seen my husband since our wedding and that just plane sucks. I haven't been this disheartened in a long while. I feel like I just want to cry but I don't think I have the energy to do it.

I'm starting to feel lonely too. I think I've started to separate myself from the friends I have here because I'm scared to feel the hurt of leaving them. Of course I can talk to Ryan, but he's struggling just as much as I am. We're both stressed with packing and trying to save enough money for our new apartment. I am moving back "home", to my family and toward my dream of going to college, but I don't have much beyond that left in New York. I have lost touch with pretty much all of my friends, grown apart from those I at one time thought to be stable, etc.

Alright, I guess I'm just a bit depressed tonight and needed to get some of these scrambled thoughts out of my head...

I do not Like Bugs!

Our apartment has become infested with spiders and ants and centipedes. The wonders of a 1st floor apartment! I can handle ants and most spiders but centipedes terrify me. Thankfully I now have Ryan here to kill them for me...I don't think I could handle the stress without him. Seriously before I enter each room I look around to make sure there are no centipedes on the walls, ceiling and floors. We have them at work too- I try to be brave there and kill them but usually we just wait for Ryan to stop by and save us.

Anyway enough about bugs.

I went for a great walk at Crane Creek Park yesterday and got some neat pictures (most of which I accidently deleted! Oops!) I had this awesome picture of a huge snapping turtle that I was so excited about and then when I loaded the pictures to my computer I noticed it was gone, I wish I could get it back! Anyway the park was nice. I went by myself because Ryan had to work. It started to rain when I was about a mile down the trail so I got soaked but it was worth it. I saw all sorts if animals- cranes, great blue herings, snakes, turtles, frogs, deer, baby deer, tons of bugs, ground hogs, etc.

It was a great weekend and I am ready to get back to work...only 3 weeks till the move!

Life

Our wedding was beautiful.

I don't know how else to describe such a perfect and precious day. I'm so happy.

It really is great having someone to come home to, to talk with, to cuddle with....especially after living alone for 3 years

Our honeymoon was lovely as well. It was a bit cold all week but we really enjoyed our time together. We hiked a lot and saw a lot of wild life including a river otter, a fox, deer, baby deer, and tons of birds.

We finally got word that we have been approved for the apartment we want! It took forever to actually gather all of the papers needed but we are all set to move in the week of July 9. It's a 1 bedroom but it is nearly 900 sq feet which should be enough for both of us- rent is just so expensive in Rochester that we really can't afford a 2 bedroom at this time.

Anyway...just wanted to let people know that everything is going well...