Change...
I hate it.
I met my replacement at work yesterday. As thrilled as I am that my team will have a leader to replace me it was very difficult to start handing over my responsibilities.
And then tonight I get a call from one of my staff and as we were talking she mentioned that the new team leader said at many points that the team deffinately wasn't being run the way she would do it and that she doesn't agree with the way things are done.
I know that she will not run the team the same as I have- and that it okay- we are different people- different ages- different experience, but PLEASE don't tell my staff that I'm not doing things "right"- don't undermine me. I have never had a problem with the ways things are run on the team- perhaps its not perfect and I'll be the first to admit that but I have grown so much in the last 3 years and progressively made so many changes. You have to know how far a team has come before you can judge its present state. I know I'm sounding defensive and perhaps I shouldn't care so much- but its three years of my life, my time, my energy, my time away from my family and finace/husband- so I do care. And it hurts to have it criticized and it hurts to know that she is talking poorly of the team to my staff behind my back. And its not like its an office job- it's peoples lives- 3 women that I have grown to love dearly and at times feel as close to me as my own family.
I'm tired. There is just so much going on and for the last few weeks I feel like all I'm doing is sleeping and working. I have hardly seen my husband since our wedding and that just plane sucks. I haven't been this disheartened in a long while. I feel like I just want to cry but I don't think I have the energy to do it.
I'm starting to feel lonely too. I think I've started to separate myself from the friends I have here because I'm scared to feel the hurt of leaving them. Of course I can talk to Ryan, but he's struggling just as much as I am. We're both stressed with packing and trying to save enough money for our new apartment. I am moving back "home", to my family and toward my dream of going to college, but I don't have much beyond that left in New York. I have lost touch with pretty much all of my friends, grown apart from those I at one time thought to be stable, etc.
Alright, I guess I'm just a bit depressed tonight and needed to get some of these scrambled thoughts out of my head...
I met my replacement at work yesterday. As thrilled as I am that my team will have a leader to replace me it was very difficult to start handing over my responsibilities.
And then tonight I get a call from one of my staff and as we were talking she mentioned that the new team leader said at many points that the team deffinately wasn't being run the way she would do it and that she doesn't agree with the way things are done.
I know that she will not run the team the same as I have- and that it okay- we are different people- different ages- different experience, but PLEASE don't tell my staff that I'm not doing things "right"- don't undermine me. I have never had a problem with the ways things are run on the team- perhaps its not perfect and I'll be the first to admit that but I have grown so much in the last 3 years and progressively made so many changes. You have to know how far a team has come before you can judge its present state. I know I'm sounding defensive and perhaps I shouldn't care so much- but its three years of my life, my time, my energy, my time away from my family and finace/husband- so I do care. And it hurts to have it criticized and it hurts to know that she is talking poorly of the team to my staff behind my back. And its not like its an office job- it's peoples lives- 3 women that I have grown to love dearly and at times feel as close to me as my own family.
I'm tired. There is just so much going on and for the last few weeks I feel like all I'm doing is sleeping and working. I have hardly seen my husband since our wedding and that just plane sucks. I haven't been this disheartened in a long while. I feel like I just want to cry but I don't think I have the energy to do it.
I'm starting to feel lonely too. I think I've started to separate myself from the friends I have here because I'm scared to feel the hurt of leaving them. Of course I can talk to Ryan, but he's struggling just as much as I am. We're both stressed with packing and trying to save enough money for our new apartment. I am moving back "home", to my family and toward my dream of going to college, but I don't have much beyond that left in New York. I have lost touch with pretty much all of my friends, grown apart from those I at one time thought to be stable, etc.
Alright, I guess I'm just a bit depressed tonight and needed to get some of these scrambled thoughts out of my head...
posted by Calm at 11:37 PM
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